There are a ton of kickass weapons in our favorite fictional worlds. However, while there are those we’d pay big money just to have at our disposal, that can’t be said of them all. The sad truth is, some of the most iconic weapons are also the most flawed. This can come from overall design, danger factor, how they’re used or any combination of the three. How do they rank against one another in their impracticality? Let’s find out!
Anyone care to counter our arguments?
Most Flawed Fictional Weapons
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14. Batarang (Batman)
It’s a wonderful toy, but mainly because if you read more into it’s name… it’s intended to just be a boomerang. These can be dangerous to the thrower for sure, but not in the hands of Batman. He tends to use them as a blunt object, but really, if one were to throw a boomerang at someone and strike them, the whole boomerang part of returning to the thrower goes out the window. Now we’re just talking about a bunch of lost batarangs for Batman, or ones he just has to go pick up. Then, in the Christopher Nolan interpretation, the batarang transformed into ones with sharp edges, functioning sort of like a ninja star. While this is likely more efficient in a fight, you’re still going to lose a ton of them; the boomerang aspect still goes out the window. Maybe just change the name of these things, Bats...
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13. Lightsaber (Star Wars)
She’s a beaut, but the only people actually qualified to use these are nearly extinct. Without the Force on your side, this means any regular Joe -- or should we say any regular Finn? -- is very likely to die before being able to use a lightsaber to its full potential. Let’s be honest, so many people would accidentally push that on/off button while their saber was holstered on their belt. Our guess is there would be a lot of emergency room visits just for misfired lightsabers piercing through your own body.
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12. Lancer (Gears of War)
From Gears of War fame comes the machine gun with a chainsaw bayonet. Where is the chainsaw? Under the barrel of the gun where one would normally hold their hand. What if you cut up your hand during an intense battle when you didn't have time to think about avoiding said chainsaw? Good question. PASS!
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11. Bo Staff / Nunchuks (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
As a Donatello fan, this one hurts. Sadly, even I’m not clueless to seeing the disadvantage here. Compared to their brothers Leonardo and Raphael, Donny and Mikey’s go-to wooden weapons just don’t stack up. Sure, if you’re whacked on the head with a swinging piece of wood, you’re going feel it. The problem is, they tend to fight off other ninjas quite a bit. After a long fought battle up against a sword, that wood is gonna be chopped to splinters. How about the fact that their nemesis Shredder is practically made of sharp objects? I’m just saying, a couple katana swords or sais are sounding pretty good right about now.
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10. Bane’s Venom (Batman)
Venom makes you super strong …cool. Maybe don’t leave the tubes that get said venom injected into you exposed? Maybe?
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9. The Buster Sword (Final Fantasy series)
Seriously, how do you even carry this behemoth around, let alone lift it? Tell us, Cloud!
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8. The Crotch Gun (From Dusk Till Dawn)
We know it was mostly a gag in From Dusk Till Dawn, but we’ll judge it anyway. How do you use this if someone isn’t remotely near your crotch? Can you even imagine reloading it? Also. How. Do. You. Go. To. The. Bathroom? NEXT!
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7. Ash’s Chainsaw Arm (Evil Dead / Army of Darkness)
Bulky. Heavy. Dependent on gas and oil. Dulling teeth with every use. When it works, I’m sure it’s effective, but seriously, have you ever seen someone start up a chainsaw in the first string pull? You'd think at some point, you might need to start that thing real quick to avoid certain death.
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6. Indiana Jones’ Whip (Raiders of The Lost Ark and beyond)
It’s a whip, everyone. A whip. Ten times out of ten times, you’re either whipping yourself, or NOT miraculously whipping to something in order to swing from it. You’re just gonna hurt yourself.
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5. Glaive (Blade, Krull)
Yes, it does look cool. But someone please tell me how you’re supposed to hold this thing. Or you know, catch it after you throw it at a high speed, and it (somehow) comes hurling back to you.
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4. Adamantium Claws (X-Men)
Yes, they’re basically indestructible, but it’s still a bunch of knives coming out of your damn skin. Even with a healing factor, this sounds like it would really, really suck.
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3. Infinity Gauntlet (Avengers: Infinity War)
Besides what you must give up to have this kind of power at your disposal, there’s also the argument that TOO much power can be a weapon’s flaw. Where does one go from here, having all the Infinity Stones? In addition to that, too much power means everyone else wants it from you or wants to destroy it. You’re never going to be at ease calling the Infinity Gauntlet your own. You could likely never take it off without worry. How could you sleep peacefully? You’d certainly go mad trying to keep it for yourself.
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2. Death Star (Star Wars)
This one is a close second. While it’s a battle station, the Death Star is essentially the ultimate weapon to strike fear into the hearts of those who oppose you. If you resist, they’ll just blow up your planet. It’s that simple. Of course, it’s also kind of simple to destroy, too. With not one, but two successful attempts at blowing these things up with a few well placed proton torpedoes …we're thinking the Empire should get some new engineers?
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1. The One Ring (The Lord Of The Rings)
We’re ranking this #1 because of its extreme power potential …and the catch that comes with it. It’s the one ring to rule them all, it’s a ring of power, and it looks pretty slick to boot. It can’t be destroyed by force or manmade weapons. You can even go invisible if you put it on! Problem is, it’s suuuper evil. Even just possessing the ring will turn you crazy. AND when you put it on to go invisible, it immediately tells the enemy where you are. Did we mention Sauron will stop at nothing to get it back and that you’re not invisible to him or his ringwraiths? Do yourself a favor and toss this thing in the lava it was forged from.
