People Magazine Got Inside Josh Duggar’s “Rehab” Center



Get thee behind me, Satan.



After Josh Duggar molested basically all of his sisters, but not until he tried to finger the neighbor, God and Jim Bob (in an concerted cover up with local law enforcement and their church), called Josh to Habitat For We Can’t Afford To Lose That TLC Money Over This, where he built houses for heterosexual birds and some of other shit that didn’t do anything except fully concretizing his indoctrination into the Bible-based belief that women are only holes to fuck sent by the Lord. Amen.



Surprisingly, after 12 years of praying and getting paid to be an expert in Christian marriage and family values, Josh Duggar still couldn’t get enough unholy pussy even if it meant dropping $2,100 for a taste of sin. And since the Duggars were unable to use their political influence to get out in front of this and salvage what was left of their brand, Josh was sent to a treatment center where he will finally get some help. Except not really. He was sent to the weirdly named, Reformers Unanimous (this is what they believe), a faith-based Christian labor camp that is fully staffed with people armed, not with addiction treatment credentials or medical licenses, but with the desire to “help you find a dynamic love relationship with Jesus Christ“. The Director of Development, Tony Richardson, gave People an inside look. Join me on this tour, won’t you?



Patients are placed two to a room, each with a shared closet, bunk bed and two desks. There’s no email, no cell phones and little television. The patients can watch approved TV shows on Saturdays and Sundays, and there is a game room for free time. Mornings begin early, and lights out is at 10 p.m. on weekdays and 11 p.m. on weekends.

Basically. Josh Duggar will work and pray all day without getting any form of licensed therapy or counseling, then go back to his room and hope the dude in the top bunk doesn’t hear him jerking off to American Ninja Warrior or the hottest daughter in Family Feud.

 “It is not a country club,” Richardson tells PEOPLE of the 1.5-acre..”It is like going to college, but I don’t know if it is as nice as that.”

Tony Richardson can probably describe a park bench in heaven to you, but has no idea what college is like. This is not a coincidence.

 Citing patient confidentiality, Richardson would not confirm or deny Duggar is a patient at the treatment center, which charges $7,500 for six-month stretches. But the Duggars have a relationship with the center, with Josh’s parents, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, speaking at a key note event there in October 2014.  “I believe they have referred people here in the past. I am not sure how they heard about us but we are grateful they have,” Richardson says of the family.
 
Translation: “I can’t tell you if Josh is here or not, because his family is paying me $7,500, but I’ll gladly accept your money to talk about the facility where Josh Duggar is widely rumored to be staying to further fuel speculation because why not make as much money as I can off this? Black Friday deals and whatnot.” Side note: Josh could’ve had sex with five more porn stars for $7.500.
 
Families are considered key to recovery, both during and after the program, when they are called upon to provide moral support. During treatment, communications with families are monitored, but after 60 days, patients can go out with their families or approved visitors on the weekends.
The Duggar Family will be Josh’s moral compass. Let that sink in. Is it all the way in? Now pull out, because they think the pill induces abortions.
 
Richardson says that Reformers’ methods have yielded a more than 80 percent success rate, and he credits local churches for supporting the men after they leave, affectionately referring to the local church as “God’s support group.” “When people leave and go home, we have an aftercare plan we encourage for their success and continued victory – getting involved with a local Bible-believing church and continuing on with their relationship with the Lord,” says Richardson.
 
Their website says Reformers Unanimous “boasts an 82% success rate among the graduates of its discipleship course”, but there’s no real statistics to back that up. I guess the other 18% realized all of this was bullshit and became atheists.
 
“We deal with everything from a sin standpoint,” he says of their approach to addiction, acknowledging that Reformers does not medically treat drug dependency, instead depending on outside help for that. “We don’t do that internally, but we work with others. We do that through families and our family members where we assist in getting the help that is needed,” he says…”We call it to the school of discipleship. The closer you get to the Lord, the further you get from what brought you here,” says Richardson.
“We assist in getting the help that is needed”, you know, except cognitive behavior therapy, licensed counseling, Prozac, or teaching Josh to treat women with respect instead of the vagina being a portal to hell unless it’s blocked with a baby.
 

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