Let’s Get You All Caught Up With Josh Duggar



Satan: “Josh, it says ‘stand’ for life.”

Josh: “lol take the picture, Satan.”



Hey, remember Friday? Let’s not do that again. Anyway, after Josh Duggar had to release a statement (which his parents quickly edited) because of the Ashley Madison hack, his wife Anna Duggar refused to leave him because religion has left her with with 4 kids and no college education at 27 years old. Let’s continue this story shall we?



1. Family Research Council president Tony Perkins threw Josh into a pit of lions then rolled that pit of lions under a bus then set the bus on fire.

“Last night we learned from online reports about allegations concerning Josh Duggar and then read his confession today. We are grieved by Josh’s conduct and the devastating impact of his pornography addiction and marital unfaithfulness,” Perkins statement reads. “Our hearts hurt for his family, and all those affected by Josh’s actions. His deceitful behavior harms his family, his friends, his former coworkers, and the cause he has publicly espoused. Those of us who advocate for family values in the public square are held to a higher standard, and Josh’s failures serve as a painful reminder of the destructive effects of not living with integrity. We are praying for the family.”



The Family Research Council, of course, is the Conservative lobbying group who hates gays that Josh “resigned” from after the world learned he was side hugging his sister in their sleep with his dick. Josh may have talked to himself and thought that meant Jesus forgave him, but Tony Perkins ain’t about that life. “We are praying for the family” lol



2. Josh’s sister, Jessa, threw some Bible shade on Instagram



Since she’s never been allowed to think for herself, Jessa decided to post this on Instagram yesterday. It’s Bible verse about people who say Jesus has full control of their motor vehicle, yet in reality, they are really walking “in darkness” because Jesus doesn’t even know what their car looks like.  She probably posted this then did a hair flip. Also, Jessa looks like this, so she’s free to talk shit.  It’s safe to say the only thing her husband is looking at online is pictures of Jessa.



3. The Duggar family pastor  blamed Anna Duggar



Ronnie Floyd (this weird motherfucker) is the senior pastor at Cross Church in Springdale, Arkansas and he gave a sermon on Sunday called, “Sex Today” (wha?) which was streamed live. Naturally, he demonized homosexuality, divorce rates, and people living together, calling them all “a mockery to Bible truth”. But when he got to adultery, he hit the brakes so hard the air bags deployed.

“Adultery, being sexually or emotionally unfaithful to your spouse, that’s wrong. Some of you are on the other end of someone else destruction.” Floyd then spoke about five guidelines people should follow when it comes to relationships and sex.  One of the most notable was the fifth suggestion, which mentioned keeping both husband and wife happy through “sexual contact,” which may only be put on hold for “focused prayer.” However, Floyd warned, if a husband or wife fails to keep his or her partner happy sexually they are opening themselves “up to the attack of the enemy.  “And that enemy is going to take your spouse away from you,” he said.  “Both men and woman have their sexual needs met by someone, somewhere, somehow.” Floyd carefully stated that the service was not designed to make anyone “feel guilty”.



Makes sense. Anna should have been down to fuck 24/7 while raising three kids and being pregnant with her fourth. Maybe that would have kept Josh from using diaper money to get strange ass and strippers. Fuck you. I know you mention gays and front hugging before marriage is causing a “sexual epidemic” in this country, but the last time I checked, adultery is the only thing on your list that’s actually in the Ten Commandments. Instead of posting them outside government buildings, how about we start small and make them Josh’s screensaver.



These are NSFW pictures of Bai Ling. You think Bai Ling cares about anything I just wrote? Bai Ling did this after dinner this weekend. Bai Ling doesn’t care about the Duggars. Bai Ling doesn’t care about shit.



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