Bella Thorne Was In A Bikini For Memorial Day

Bella Thorne showed up to Joel Silver’s annual Memorial Day party and immediately got into a bikini, which was pretty awesome except she’s 17. Notice how she’s basically just playing by herself in the water, because nobody really wanted to spend the next 5 to 10 Memorial Days in prison. I guess they could have invited Josh Duggar to take religious liberties with her, because as soon as he fingerbanged her while she was asleep on the beach, his parents could just send him off to build houses and tell Bella Thorne to stop being so immodest and tempting their son. Then he could just confess his sins after the statute of limitations was up and God would be pretty cool with that, because after you say you believe in God you can do pretty much fondle underage girls all the time and not have to go to any sort of counseling or a psychiatrist, because once you get in a prayer circle, your brain is instantly fixed and you no longer like to fondle teenage girls, but you still might think gays are sexual deviants you are going to hell, so you pray for them and ask God to make them child molesters instead so they might have a chance to go to heaven. Religion is a pretty great setup like that. Good business model.

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