Jessica Biel’s Growing Fetus Has Been Confirmed

Note: Yes, these pictures are of Zooey Deschanel, but they were labeled “Jessica Biel” on WENN. Much like Justin Timberlake, it’s too late to pull out now. We just have to all make the best of it.

Hey, remember when we all speculated like Jessica Biel was pregnant? Turns out she really is pregnant! Oh, man! What exciting news this is that people we don’t know are having a baby we will also never know! Fantastic!

Biel’s having a baby! Jessica Biel is pregnant and expecting her first child with Justin Timberlake, multiple sources reveal in the new issue of Us Weekly. “Right now they are just enjoying the news for themselves,” one pal tells Us of the Blunderer actress, 32, and Timberlake, 33, who dated on and off for five years before getting engaged in January 2012. “They just want a happy baby.”

I am so glad that Obama’s radical, Kenyan, Illuminati alien, lizard socialist policies are over, because as soon as Republicans took control of Washington last night, a rich, white couple announced they were having a baby. lol suck it libtards! #america #freedom #tcot #vote #blessed