Justin Bieber Is Trying To Get Baptized Now
Like, for real. This isn't a joke. Justin Bieber believes being dunked in a pool will be all the help he needs. Page Six reports:
Multiple sources confirmed to us that Bieber was looking for a Manhattan property with a private pool to conduct a baptism-like ceremony with the Hillsong Church NYC. One source said, “Justin and his team spent time on Saturday searching for a place with a pool where they could conduct a baptism for him, a cleansing ritual, with the Hillsong Church. But they couldn’t find a place in time.” Another source added, “Justin is serious about his Christian faith, and after recent events, he needed to take a pause.” Bieber, who is believed to have been baptized as a child, is a fan of the megachurch — which has conducted baptisms in the Gansevoort Hotel rooftop pool — and after attending a service at their Irving Plaza location last September, he tweeted about its hip leader, Pastor Carl Lentz: “Amazing sermon at church this morning. Love you man. I broke down today.”
Yes, because nothing says "serious about his Christian faith" like pissing in mop buckets, egging your neighbors house, driving drunk, sippin sizzurp, and sucking on stripper titties. The Jesus' side eye is probably pretty strong right now. But, you know, I guess baptism is thing that people do because they think it's a good insurance policy in case heaven exists while they're having all the fun they can down here. As long as you profess to accept Jesus into your heart, you can do pretty much whatver you want. I think that's how it works. Problem is, the rest of us can't throw a challenge flag to have that reviewed. Jesus did not have full control of the heart as you went underwater, therefore the ruling on the field has been overturned.