If you’re a godless heathen you probably enjoyed the Grammys, but don’t worry, Kirk Cameron is here to save your mortal soul. You know, if you buy his new movie. And that’s pretty much what modern day Christianity is all about. A false sense of moral superiority and self-importance disguised as humility so you’ll buy some shit that obviously God is down with. Of course only Kirk Cameron can save family. Of course only Kirk Cameron can save marriages, because he is God’s one true messenger even though the divorce rate climbed 4.9% the year after Fireproof was released. Of course you need a mansion and a megachurch and drive a Bentley because you’re just “so blessed”. And as far as this whole “traditional family” things goes, fuck you. I know this might be hard to understand in your bigoted, closed off mind, but what works for you might not work for other people. I know, crazy right? And if God wants to make people suffer an eternal hell for having the audacity to love someone, then your god is a douche. Sorry. But mostly. I’d like to know more about this “traditional family”. Is it the one where the wife stays home and is forbidden to have any contact with the outside world and just waits or you to get home so she can make you dinner and have dead missionary sex because her only purpose in life is to be a broodmare for your homeschooled, indoctrinated, Hitler youth in short sleeve Oxford shirts who have had their ability to think for themselves prayed out of them? Cool. Give me the chick who comes home and takes her heels off, pours a glass of wine, and asks me if we have any pot brownies left before she blows me for remembering to pick up her dry cleaning.
