Lostprophets’ Ian Watkins Says Raping Children Brings “Megalolz”, Not A Big Deal

Ian Watkins


I haven't covered this story before because I just realized Wales was an actual country this year, but in case you haven't heard by now, there's a Welsh band called Lostprophets and their lead singer, Ian Watkins, pleaded guilty to chid sex abuse charges (including raping a baby. A baby. Also, his laptop password was "ifuckkids") and has been sentenced to 29 years in prison. He still doesn't understand what people are upset about. I mean, he just raped a baby. Who cares? Wales Online reports:

After admitting abusing children, including babies, in court the paedophile added: "I don't know what everyone is getting worked up about." He also claimed he was not a paedophile but was pleading guilty to avoid a trial. Watkins has been jailed for 29 years for sexually abusing children. Watkins made two phone calls to a female friend from Parc Prison in Bridgend after his guilty pleas. On November 27, the day after he admitted he was a paedophile, he said of the court hearing: "It was, like, either me go up there and say 'Come on, it wasn't that bad, nobody got hurt', I do my charm. Or do I end up making things worse for myself? Or do I just say I was off my head and can't remember?" Discussing his possible sentence, he added: "I'm going to put a statement on [December] 18th now just to say it was megalolz, I don't know what everyone is getting so freaked out about."

If you watched the Bob Costas interview with Jerry Sandusky, you saw a man struggle to say what he thought normal people wanted to hear when all he wanted to do was leave and go fondle some kids in the shower. In his mind, he completely thought what he was doing wasn't wrong. Some people's brains are wired all fucked up and there's no treatment, prison sentence, nor beating that will ever cure whatever the hell the voices in their head are telling them. With that being said, Ian Watkin's penis and hands should be cut off then thrown into molten lava while he's being decapitated by a bear. Then we should bring him back to life so a horse can trample his spine. This isn't set in stone, of course, this is more of just a guide.