KONG FILE DIVORCE THING KONG SINGLE NOW!!!
No matter what romantic comedies tell you, when you date someone for ten days then decide to get married, there's a few details that might get missed. For example, your boyfriend is a crackhead with daddy issues who pouts and quits when he gets traded. Or, your girlfriend was captured from Skull Island and taken to America where she endured years of laser hair removal and estrogen shots. So it's with a sad and heavy heart that I let you guys know that Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom are getting divorced just like everyone with common sense predicted. People reports:
Four years after their televised whirlwind marriage, reality, sadly, has hit home. Khloé Kardashian has filed for divorce from Lamar Odom in Los Angeles Superior Court, PEOPLE has confirmed. The news comes after months of speculation that Lamar's substance-abuse issues – which led to a DUI arrest in August and a stint in rehab shortly after – have put an irrevocable strain on the couple's marriage. Reports that the couple had been living apart surfaced in September after Khloé 29, and Lamar, 34, who married in a lavish 2009 ceremony, had not been publicly seen together in weeks. Following Lamar's rehab stint, the couple were spotted attending a Kanye West concert together in Los Angeles in late October, where the pair sat next to each other in the VIP section and were joined by other members of the Kardashian-Jenner family. Still, the sighting didn't quell speculation that the two were struggling to keep their marriage together. In mid-November, an insider confirmed to PEOPLE that the two were in couples therapy – but sources close to Khloé said the reality star seemed long resigned that her marriage may soon be over. "It doesn't seem like a reconciliation is any closer to happening," a source revealed. "It's like the situation is just too far gone at this point for a split to be anything but unavoidable."
It really shouldn't be lost on anyone that the Kardashian sister with the longest, sustained relationship is the one who isn't married. She also seems to be the least batshit. But let's not worry about Khloe Kardashian, because at it turns out, there are a lot of black, pro athletes who play for Los Angeles teams. Like, Rihanna's ex, Matt Kemp. The two of them were spotted leaving a gym recently where I assume they bonded over their love for human growth hormones.