Steve Jobs Was A Freak, Horrible Human Being

Steve Jobs


Steve Jobs, the hipster god who created products that makes them stand in line every six months, is widely known to have been an absolute nightmare to work with and believed to have narcissitic personality disorder (he regularly parked in handicap spaces, he once screamed at police and repeatedly honked his horn when they pulled him over for going 100 in a residential because he "was in a hurry", he reportedly got upset when Obama didn't personally call him after the launch of the iPad, etc.) is now the subject of a new book, The Bite in the Apple: A Memoir of My Life With Steve Jobs, that was written by a former girlfriend, Chrisann Brennan. Apparently Stevie was always horny and liked boning in sheds. Radar Online reports:

Brennan and Jobs were an item from 1972 until 1977. She said that Jobs retuned from a 1974 trip to India with new sexual enlightenment regarding tantra, saying, “It all broke open between us when he asked if I would make tantric love with him in his garden shed.” She said that Jobs’ professional focus and dedication trickled down to the bedroom, as he avoided emissions to save his mojo, and store “power and wealth by conserving one’s vital energies. “Our birth control method up to that point was Steve’s coitus interruptus, also called the pull–out method, which for him was about his conserving his energy for work.” She writes in the tome that she and the late genius “shared nights of lovemaking so profound that, astonishingly, some 15 years later, he called me out of the blue to thank me.”

And since the pull out method doesn't work, Steve Jobs was the Adrian Peterson of the 70s, except he probably wouldn't have went to the hospital.

Brennan, who has a daughter named Lisa with the late tech mogul, paints a dark portrait of the inventor, describing his reaction when she told him she was expecting their child. “Steve’s face turned ugly,” she wrote. “He gave me a fiery look. Then he rushed out of the house without a word,” adding he “told me he felt like I was stealing his genes.” Jobs denied fathering the child for years, until a 1979 paternity test proved him the biological dad.

Jobs was an orphan, so you'd think he wouldn't want his child to feel abandoned like he was, but you can't really let something like another human being you helped create get in the way of building computers in a garage. I mean, somethings are just more important. That being said, I have an iPhone so I should probably chill with outrage. iOS7 is so pretty!