Charlie Hunnam Pulled Out Of ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’

Undersexed women around the world screamed into their vibrators this weekend when it was announced that Charlie Hunnam decided not to be Christian Grey in the film adaption of the ridiculously tame and corny "S&M" novel, Fifty Shades of Grey, that was written by a woman who looks like this. I'm sure she wrote from experience. Anway, you chicks are getting a new Christian. Deadline reports:

Well, here’s a surprise. Universal is going to have to look harder to find its S&M minded zillionaire Christian Grey because Sons Of Anarchy star Charlie Hunnam has exited the role he only just got. He was set early last month to star in what is expected to be at least three movies based on the EL James novel trilogy Fifty Shades Of Grey. The studio issued this statement: “The filmmakers of Fifty Shades Of Grey and Charlie Hunnam have agreed to find another male lead given Hunnam’s immersive TV schedule which is not allowing him time to adequately prepare for the role of Christian Grey.”

This of course is bullshit, because if you're contracted to do a television show and you agree to do a movie, the schedule thing has already been figured out. So basically, Hunnam signed the contract then went back to the SOA set, and everybody was like, "Wait, you did what now?". Then everybody laughed and laughed and Hunnam cried in his trailer then Googled a picture of Dakota Johnson then stopped crying because, whoa, dodged that bullet. Then he went outside where everybody was still laughing and he told them to stop because even though he wants to be a movie star, he doesn't want to be one like this then he mentioned Dakota Johnson and everybody said, "LOL I know!", then they all laughed and decided to go for a bike ride but one of the actors crashed because they're not real bikers they just play pretend and he hurt his leg then everyone got sad again and told their assistants their three sentence Starbucks orders then went to makeup to glue on their beards. The end.