Amanda Bynes Has Great Friends

Since society is jaded and desensitized to crazy, people actually believed that Amanda Bynes' bizarre behavior and rambling Twitter psychosis was some well-executed act meant to troll us all. You know, then she started setting fires. But the only thing Bynes' needs is a friend or a love one to save her from herself, but luckily for you, her friends are selling their stories to the media instead. Specifically, Ana Rivera. She doesn't talk to Bynes anymore because Bynes changed her number. So enjoy her story where she tells us Bynes "desperately needs help". I mean, just not from her of course. New York Daily News reports:

Ana Rivera, 22, told media agency Coleman-Rayner that Bynes, 27, talked to herself and watched Marilyn Monroe movies on mute while living between Manhattan hotels and a studio apartment on Wall Street. "The (Wall Street) place was a mess. She didn't even have a shower curtain in the bathroom, so there was always an inch of water on the floor," Rivera said. She said Bynes changed all her light bulbs to red, even the lights in her chandelier. "She said she liked the way it made her look," Rivera recalled. One day, Bynes purportedly decided to dye her hair purple but didn't use gloves and stained her manicured fingers. "Her nails were all purple and she kept painting them white obsessively over and over again," Rivera said. She said the actress later began wearing wigs after scorching her scalp with bleach. "I asked what happened, and she said that her hair fell out as she had left the bleach on too long and it had burnt her hair off," Rivera recalled. Rivera told the agency that the "Hairspray" actress felt lonely after moving to the Big Apple from California. "She opened up, and it was obvious she had problems. It was immediately obvious she didn't have any friends. When I asked if she'd met a lot of people since she moved to New York, she said only me and another woman in her building," Rivera told Coleman-Rayner. She said Bynes called her ugly repeatedly but never remembered it. "Everything she said out loud, she thought she was saying in her head. She never even apologized, she just carried on," Rivera claimed. “When she says in public that it wasn't her, it must be an imposter, I don't think she's even aware or remembers going out in those outfits, and so (she) genuinely believes it's not her," she said. Rivera moved out of New York in February and last communicated with Bynes in March, before the troubled starlet changed her number, she said. "She has a hard time talking to people because she's so weird," Rivera said. "She's all over the place. There's a lot of disorganization going on in her brain. She's literally only hanging out with her dog. Amanda desperately needs help."

It's becoming increasingly difficult to make fun of Amanda Bynes, because she obviously has severe mental problems, and even worse, she has people around her who would rather cash a check from a tabloid than picking up the phone and getting her help. Bynes is still crazy, but at least the time you spent with her convincing her you were here friend was a total waste, right? It's people like this that make me…BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS JOKE ABOUT MY PENIS BOOBS BOOBS. Sorry, guys. Had to reboot. I'm back to normal now.