Whitney Port Is Still Alive, In A Bikini

Whitney Port was on a show once about pretty white people with problems (like, OMG, they’re the worst!), except she’s not really pretty and the problems were scripted and manipulated through editing for maximum drama because a lot of you are stupid. Anyway, here she is in a bikini. Too bad we can edit this. I mean, what’s up with her hips? Was she just cast in Real Housewives Of The Frontier? Bitch looks like she needs to be in a covered wagon. Then I’ll circle it and rape her. Then steal everything off the wagon. I don’t know. I think that was kinda our thing back then. Holla back.