Drake Is A Real Badass, You Guys

“You niggas stay in front and back. I got this peripheral vision thang, playa.” – Drake

Drake has received a lot of undue praise recently for “beating up” Chris Brown, when in reality, all his did was throw a bottle and a sucker punch then ran and hid behind his bodyguards. These bodyguards. Man, they must do a lot of upper body workouts and, you know, absolutely nothing else. They’re pretty big, I’m not really sure how I would handle them. Oh wait, I know. While they’re dry heaving because I made them sprint for twenty yards, Drake will be on the ground with a crushed windpipe unable to answer me when I ask him if he knows which artery runs the entire length of the torso. C’mon, Drake. We learned this in anatomy and physiology class. Here’s a hint: YOLO.