Teen Mom’s Amber Portwood Asked To Go To Prison For Five Years

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Go to drug program or get sentenced to five years in prison? Fuck it. YOLO. TMZ reported:

After several months of unsuccessful drug treatment, “Teen Mom” star Amber Portwood has completely given up on herself — and has now asked a judge to send her ass to prison … once and for all …TMZ has learned. As we reported, Amber was sentenced to 5 years in the big house back in January for drug possession — but the judge gave her a second chance, offering to vacate the sentence if she successfully completed a drug rehab program. Amber has repeatedly struggled to meet the requirements of the program, and has now given up entirely — straight up asking the judge to impose her original 5-year prison sentence. Amber fessed up today in court, telling the judge she hasn’t stayed clean since starting the program — and will always be a “bad girl.” Amber’s lawyer stood by in shock as this unfolded, shaking his head the entire hearing.

Amber Portwood is a complete fuck up in every possible way you can be, and I really have no idea why the state hasn’t poured cement into her vagina to prevent her from ever having another child, but at least she seems to be more self-aware than Lindsay has ever been. And why do I bring up Lindsay? Oh, I have her boobs coming up next. Stand by.