Kris Jenner Is A Great Mother

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Rob Kardashian‘s 25th birthday was this weekend, and what better way for his mother to celebrate the eventual cancer that will ravage her son (that was in his inheritance, too maybe) by making it all about her? Wait, you didn’t think Kris Jenner would do anything different, right? You did? You should probably check out blog then.

Happy 25th birthday to my wonderful, handsome son, Rob!! Rob, you are the best son a mother could ask for and you make me proud every day. I love you so much!!

As you read that blockquote, please keep in mind that Rob Kardashian just turned 25 and recently got off his sister’s couch to realize his life’s passion is socks. So he wants to start a sock company. A sock. Company. Socks. That’s good, because Rob is one of these douches who were born rich so that makes him think he’s a business man, so he’ll start 25 companies in the next five years that will immediately fail, but if you look at his Wikipedia in 2017, it’ll say “entrepreneur”. Because entrepreneurs start sock companies. Now read that blockquote again. Any way somebody can invent time travel so I can go back and kick that banner picture in the stomach? I’ll be sure to wear my special socks.