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As previously reported and probably immediately known by everyone as soon as she denied she was pregnant, Snooki has whored out her pregnancy and her baby to US Weekly. Because, you know, she wants to be great parent and do things the right way.

After weeks of rumors (Ed.’s note: “After weeks of negotiations with several media outlets” FIXED.), Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi confirms exclusively in the new Us Weekly that she is 15 weeks pregnant — and engaged to the father, beau of one and a half years Jionni LaValle. And the Jersey Shore star and LaValle, both 24, know just what detractors are thinking, they tell Us. “I have different priorities now,” reformed party girl Snooki says. “I don’t care what anybody else thinks. As long as I know I’m ready and he’s ready.” Adds LaValle: “We are not going to screw this up.”

Whatever. I guess they have to make money while they can. I don’t think babies make that much modeling for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Weekly.