George Clooney Gives Not One F**k If You Think He’s Gay

Because nailing hot pieces of Hollywood ass at will with no regard to their feelings or cab fare is a sure fire sign that you’re a raging homosexual, George Clooney for some apparent reason has been the subject of gay rumors for longer than I’ve been writing this site. So, in an interview with The Advocate, Clooney addresses these rumors. You know, in a way that a man who probably had a pussy buffet right beforehand would.

The gay rumor has followed you for years.

I think it’s funny, but the last thing you’ll ever see me do is jump up and down, saying, “These are lies!” That would be unfair and unkind to my good friends in the gay community. I’m not going to let anyone make it seem like being gay is a bad thing. My private life is private, and I’m very happy in it. Who does it hurt if someone thinks I’m gay? I’ll be long dead and there will still be people who say I was gay. I don’t give a shit.

You’re right, because some people are still trying to make the case that Cary Grant was gay.

Oh, I know. I met Cary once, I read his daughter’s book, and I’ve gotten the sense that he would’ve laughed at that and not cared what people thought. He was a confident enough man to feel perfectly fine in his own sexuality and in his own life. Compared to other stars, he seemed much more together in a way. You know, you live your life well, you treat people well, and you hope that other people won’t make stories up about you, but they will anyway. It is what it is.

I have no idea why people get the gay vibe from Clooney, but like he said, people will think what they want to think and he probably spends less than no time worrying about it. I’ve been called a fag for six years because I write this site, but have you met my new girlfriend Lacy Heibler? She’s used to model.