Va Te Faire Foutre

The French finally invaded something, because if you watched the 84th Academy Awards last night, it was a veritable The Artist bukkake party as the silent movie about some prancing dipshit swept the Oscars last night. To reiterate, a SILENT MOVIE WON BEST PICTURE. Quentin Tarantino’s entire world just spun off its axis. Anyway, here’s the winners that people might care about.

Best Picture: The Artist

Best Actress: Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady

Best Actor: Jean Dujardin, The Artist

Best Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer, The Help

Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer, Beginners

Best Director: Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist

Best Original Screenplay: Midnight in Paris, Woody Allen

Best Adapted Screenplay: The Descendants, Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon and Jim Rash

Here’s Jean Valjean ignoring Natalie Portman and molesting his award instead: