Karl Lagerfeld Is Captain Obvious

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Karl Lagerfeld says Adele is too fat. Us Weekly says:

Famed fashion icon Karl Lagerfeld knows the fashion industry like the inside of a Chanel suit, but when it comes to being diplomatic about a woman’s body shape, he could use a little help. “The thing at the moment is Adele. She is a little too fat, but she has a beautiful face and a divine voice,” the 78-year-old head designer and creative director for Chanel told Metro Paris on Monday about the “Someone Like You” songstress, 23.

I’m not here to talk about how “real women” have curves and how the “average” woman is a size 14 and Marilyn Monroe was too (because by today’s size standards, she wasn’t) or how we need to be nicer. Because a lot of “real women” are size 2s, and yeah, Adele is pretty big. But what exactly is she “too fat” for? She makes her living by singing about men leaving her, not by modeling bikinis or fitting on rollercoasters. If she loses enough weight, a man may stick around a little longer and drunk girls won’t have as many good songs to sing when they’re sad. If her having some extra slices of pie means we’ll be subjected to hearing a little less Rihanna and Katy Perry all the time, by all means, let a fucking girl live.