Oh Good God No

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Peace out, civilization. Radar Online reports:

Jersey Shore star Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is about to drop her most scandalous bombshell ever, Star magazine has exclusively learned. The pint-sized reality star and her boyfriend of a year, Jionni LaValle, are expecting their first child, reveals the upcoming issue of Star. “She is pregnant and has only told her closest friends and some family,” an insider said. Never one to keep her mouth shut, the 24-year-old can’t resist hinting publicly at her baby joy, explained the source: “She’s been telling people that she has a big announcement coming.” Snooki will soon be starring in a Jersey Shore spin off with her MTV co-star Jenni “J-Woww” Farley and her new arrival will be part of the plot. “They are having to redo the creative direction of her spin-off because of her pregnancy.” Despite her recent high profile slim down, the reality star has been dropping clues on social networking sites that she may be in the family way. “I feel sick,” she admitted in a January 25 post on her Facebook page, then later tweeted: “Late night craving…yogurt hits the fricken spot!”

Just for some perspective, the Duggars had 19 kids, Snooki is pregnant, and Kelly Brook can’t carry a baby to term. If you had any doubt that God is dead, I’m pretty sure it’s gone now.