Whitney Houston Is Completely Broke

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“No thank you. I’m just looking.”

Despite having more hits than a hired mob assassin, a $100 million record deal with Arista/BMG in 2001, and selling 44 million copies of a movie soundtrack, Whitney Houston is now reportedly completely destitute and living off loans from her record label and soon-to-not-be friends. Stay off crack, kids. Daily Mail reports:

The 48-year-old singer – who has overcome crack cocaine addiction – has allegedly spent all of her fortune, including a reported $100 million record deal. Whitney is being financially supported by her record label Arista, which has given her an advance payment on her next album, according to reports. ‘She might be homeless if not for people saving her. She is broke as a joke.’ Whitney – whose ex-husband is Bobby Brown – is believed to be in such a dire financial position she has even had to resort to contacting friends for small loans. The source added: ‘She called someone to ask for $100. It is so sad. She should have Mariah Carey money, and she’s flat broke.

I could go on a long diatribe about how drugs are bad, but I can’t. Because drugs are fantastic. That’s the problem. It’s just sad when someone who was the personification of the total package falls off the deep end because they wanted to smoke an asteroid everyday. Wow, I’m in a really empathetic mood today. Homeless guys better get at me.