The Chick Who Said Justin Bieber Knocked Her Up Dropped Her Lawsuit

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Mariah Yeater, the woman who just apparently picks names out of a hat when trying to find out her got her pregnant, dropped her paternity suit against Justin Beiber last week when she realized she wouldn’t be able to back up an armored truck to Beiber’s house because she had unprotected sex. TMZ reports:

Justin Bieber’s baby mama has dismissed her paternity lawsuit against the singer … TMZ has learned. The suit was quietly dismissed late last week. What’s more, Mariah Yeater’s lawyers, Lance Rogers and Matt Pare, have quit her … withdrawn from the case. As we first reported, Justin not only planned to take a DNA test when he returned to the U.S., he was going to sue Yeater and her lawyers for making a bogus claim. And, as we reported, Justin’s lawyer, Howard Weitzman, called the attorneys and informed them a suit was looming.

If history has taught us anything, it’s that if women want to make real money, they have to either put things in their vagina or have a doctor pull something out. Then file lawsuits. And if history has taught anything else, it’s that you should always have a Jew lawyer.

She should have called Saul:

Note: Why pictures of Blake Lively instead of Justin Bieber or Mariah Yeater? Dude. Did you really just ask me that?