Ashton Kutcher Is A Damn Moron

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In September, specifically on 9/11, Ashton Kutcher tweeted it was “the greatest day of the year”, because it was the opening day of the NFL season. That didn’t go over too well. Why did I bring that up? Oh, because I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there’s been some other football news recently. Ashthon tweeted about that last night, too.

How do you fire Jo Pa? #insult #noclass as a hawkeye fan I find it in poor taste.

You’ll never guess what happened almost immediately after his 8M+ followers saw that in their timeline. No, wait. You probably can.

Kutcher was attacked by people informing the actor about the situation — writing things like, “F**k you. He covered up child rape you sick, geriatric f**k.” Roughly 30 minutes later, Kutcher removed his original tweet — and replaced it with, “Heard Joe was fired, fully recant previous tweet! Didn’t have full story. #admitwhenYoumakemistakes.”


He added, “As an advocate in the fight against child sexual exploitation, I could not be more remorseful for all involved in the Penn St. case.” Kutcher also replied to people who called him an idiot — saying, “I am” — adding, “Honestly just had half facts man my bad … I need 2b more responsible 4 my voice.”

If you were unsure whether or not most celebrities are only just mindless lemmings who attach themselves to causes and issues just to seem smarter than the talking monkeys who make millions by reading words other people wrote that they are, Ashton Kutcher has made several anti-child sex slavery PSAs this year (read more of that here), but he can’t be bothered to know or care that the Penn State locker room is a child orgy romper room before he opens his mouth and ignorant comes out. I honestly don’t know what’s worse, his blatant stupidity or that run-on sentence I just wrote. Sorry, Mrs. Roller. I know you tried when I was in your 4th grade class. Also, thanks for not raping me. That was pretty cool.