Michelle Duggar Announces She’s Pregnant With 2,178th Baby

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Even though God’s last miracle was born three and half months prematurely and almost killed her with preeclampsia because she’s 45 and God is no match for science, Michelle Duggar announced this morning on Today that she’s expecting her 20th child who will eventually be a socially awkward weirdo in bangs and a jean skirt who wants to fuck Jesus. God is great! MSNBC reports:

Michelle Duggar and her husband Jim Bob are expecting their 20th child, the couple revealed exclusively to TODAY. “We are so excited,” Michelle Duggar told TODAY Moms before the broadcast. Now three and a half months pregnant, the mom of 19 says she was actually surprised to discover that she’s expecting again at 45. “I was not thinking that God would give us another one, and we are just so grateful.” The super-sized family stars in its own reality TV show, “19 Kids and Counting,” on TLC (guess they will have to update the title!). When the Duggars visited TODAY last June, it was the longest Michelle had gone without a pregnancy in more than 20 years. Backstage, she told TODAY Moms that her baby days might be over – and she was fine with that. But the Duggars have always said they leave their family planning up to God, eschewing birth control. “When we look at Josie … even knowing that we went through the challenge that we did, we would do it again,” Michelle told TODAY’s Meredith Vieira last year from the family home in Springdale, Ark. Michelle Duggar’s last pregnancy was fraught with danger. She suffered from gall-bladder problems as well as preeclampsia. In order to save her life, doctors delivered daughter Josie three and a half months prematurely – she weighed only one pound, six ounces at birth, and endured a series of health emergencies, including a perforated bowel. Josie eventually went home with the rest of the Duggar family, and is now a healthy toddler who will celebrate her second birthday in December.

As the great Chinese philosopher, Sun Tzu, once said, “Look, bitch. It’s a vagina. Not a clown car.” Christ, was there a flood recently? The world has 7 billion people already, stop trying to repopulate the earth you fucking idiots. Just because your husband gives you a curling iron in exchange for making you a broodmare doesn’t make you blessed. It just means that in a few years TLC will be able to charge for walkthrough tours of your vagina.