Jake Gyllenhaal Went To A Bathhouse

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Mexican guy: “Your uniform…it’s so tight.” Jake Gyllenhaal: “Oh, hey boy haaaayyy.” New York Post reports:

Jake Gyllenhaal had hoped for a nice, relaxing steam when he turned up at the 10th Street baths last week — but arrived to find the place packed with power players in robes. Organizers of Elit by Stoli’s male-only gathering had taken over the place, with white towel-wearing guests including Nobu’s Richie Notar, venture capitalist Adam Dell, Niche Media founder Jason Binn, David Rabin and Lance Broumand. We’re told they, ahem, “let it all hang out.”

I was going to write something to make this story sound more gay, but I just checked, and it appears that’s impossible.