Some Chick On American Idol Fell Last Night

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Pretty much the only reason I know American Idol still exists is because I can’t walk five feet in Raleigh without seeing something about Scott McCreery‘s hillbilly ass. He looks like he should be sitting on a porch giving Burt Reynolds and Jon Voight directions to the river, but NC taxpayers had to cough $16K to bribe him to “come back home” last weekend even though the state is $3 billion in debt and firing teachers like they gangraped a kid during a pep rally. So if I see you Scotty I’m punching you in the face and breaking your guitar over your head. Then I might go get an ice cream. Anyway, some other karaoke contest finalist, Haley Reinhart, fell while performing last night. I don’t want to give anything away, but you know how sometimes when people fall they gain psychic powers or can read dreams or die? You do? Well, none of those things happened.