Martha Stewart Has A Very Friendly Dog

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I bet she adopted this dog. That’s why I always buy from puppy mills. They breed the souls and the will to live out of them. I want a pet, not something that flinches every time I pick up a broom. If I wanted to pay for emotional issues, I’d go to a strip club. Splash News reports:

Martha Stewart was forced to get nine stitches after she was mauled by her pet French bulldog, Francesca. The domestic diva, 69, recounted the incident on her official blog, and posted several images of her going under the knife afterwards. She explained how she “leaned down to whisper goodbye to a dozing Francesca” at her Westchester County, NY, home on a Tuesday night. “I must have startled her because she bolted upright with such force that she hit me in the face like a boxing glove hitting an opponent’s face,” she said. She added: “I was entirely startled and my neck snapped back. I felt a bit of whiplash as blood gushed forth from my split lip. Frannie was as upset as I was and cowered in her bed.” She then went to an ER to get treated. “I’ll be alright facially. I’m not rushing to get a facelift any time soon!” she said later.

Man, that’s too bad. Say what you want, but this would have never happened to Michael Vick. NEVER. When you’re tied to an engine block awaiting your death, things usually get put into perspective a lot faster.