Justin Bieber Is 6

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I’ve never wanted a punch a child before, well, maybe except that one baby in Starbucks. But I tripped over his toy and I spilled my coffee on him and he didn’t even apologize! What a jerk that kid was, man. Anyway, this makes child #2. The Daily Mail reports:

The Baby singer acted more like a six-year-old last night while dining at upmarket Mayfair restaurant La Porte Des Indes. Emerging from the restaurant with his huge bodyguard, Bieber was sporting a drawn-on moustache on his upper lip. He was also playing with a remote-controlled helicopter, which onlookers say he flew into his minder’s head as the burly staff member attempted to guide him into the car. After seemingly tiring of the toy, the 16-year-old simply let it drop to the ground and left it there, witnesses report. Dressed in black trousers and boots and a warm grey overcoat, the showman larked about for the waiting photographers, playing up his newly-acquired face paint. But as his bodyguards pulled him into his waiting chauffeured vehicle, the teen appeared to get annoyed, and lashed out.

I get it, I do, he’s 16 and everyone around him kisses his ass, so he thinks the world revolves around him and he can do pretty much whatever he wants. That’s all fine, but can he defeat the evil Captain Hook once and for all? Will death be his final Neverland adventure? You’d think he spend more time training, than going to fancy restaurants. But then again, I don’t have a bowl haircut and wear tights, so what do I know?