Lil Wayne Is Free

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Since New York City is under Nazi regime and only the elite can afford a pack of cigarettes, no citizen is allowed to carry a handgun. So in 2007 when a .40 handgun belonging to his manager was found in a bag a few feet away from Lil Wayne, instead of a misdemeanor, he was sentenced to a year in jail for criminal gun possession. Zero tolerance laws are great! MTV reports:

Lil Wayne was released from the Rikers Island prison facility after serving eight months of a year-long sentence for attempted gun possession. Though a guard told MTV News early Thursday morning that he had to wait another day due to “miscalculated” time, at 8:35 a.m. a spokesperson at Rikers confirmed that Wayne had been discharged….Young Money President Mack Maine stopped by the MTV News offices Wednesday and revealed that Weezy would celebrate his homecoming with a party Sunday at a Miami strip club. According to Maine, Wayne’s musical family plans to “just treat him like a king, like the royalty that he is and make him feel like we really missed him and welcome him back to the family, basically.”

Much like Asian people with a driver’s license and white people with pamphlets, black people with guns scare me. But a fucking year in jail for standing next to a bag that happened to have a gun in it? I don’t know, that seems a little excessive. Lindsay Lohan could be found with handgun in a baby’s mouth next to a bag with yellow cake uranium and still make her two o’clock pedicure.