Maybe Pregnancy Isn’t For Lily Allen

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Less than three years after losing her first child due to a miscarriage, Lily Allen has lost her second unborn child due to a viral infection. The Daily Mail reports:

When Lily Allen unexpectedly pulled out of performing at her friend Elton John’s charity fundraiser over the weekend, not much was made of it. At six months pregnant, it was understandable the singer would want to take every precaution after falling ill with a viral infection last week. Her spokesperson released a statement apologising to Elton, who stepped in to sing at the last minute at the Grey Goose Character & Cocktails winter ball, explaining that Lily was unable to take medication and was resting ‘until the infection clears’. In reality, the 25-year-old had been rushed to hospital with stomach cramps, where doctors tried desperately to save her unborn child. But attempts to save the baby boy were unsuccessful, leaving Miss Allen and her boyfriend Sam Cooper devastated. ‘Lily and Sam are both devastated,’ the friend said. ‘She had kept quiet for three months until she had the scan and doctors told her everything was OK. ‘She was understandably so nervous after having had a miscarriage before. ‘But as soon as she got the all-clear, she talked to everyone and anyone about how excited she was. ‘It was her dream to become a mum and she loved showing off her bump. ‘This is a nightmare for her and Sam. It’s too early to say how she will be able to cope with this. They are both heartbroken.’

Since jail overcrowding seems to be a problem, maybe we can miniaturize the really bad prisoners and inject them into Lily Allen. Because obviously her womb is like some sort of medieval chamber of death.

Note: Every story you hear about Lily Allen involves her either being too drunk to stand up or having a miscarriage. I don’t think those two are unrelated. I might be wrong though.