Johnny Depp Still Makes You Look Bad

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Lindsay Lohan has made one decent movie which made Rachel McAdams a star, yet she is a spoiled, entitled cunt who believes Hollywood owes her an Oscar. I only mention that because Johnny Depp’s movies have grossed $2.4 TRBILLION, other actors have publicly stated that they were star-struck when they met him, every woman would blow him in front of their parents, yet he’s as humble and generous as he is awesome. Like the time a little boy told Depp he liked his hat when he was on location in Wisconsin filming Public Enemies. Guess what happened two months later? Or the time he showed up to Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital in full Jack Sparrow costume with a check for $2 million then spent four hours reading bedtime stories to the patients. Or the time he sent a personalized message to a 17-year old high school student after she fell into a coma from a car accident. Only because her father wrote a letter to Depp saying he was his daughter’s favorite actor. So what would my fellow Native American and fellow member of the Handsome Man’s Club do when Beatrice Delap, a 4th grader at Meridian Primary School, wrote him this letter? The Daily Mail reports:

‘Captain Jack Sparrow, At Meridian Primary School, we are a bunch of budding young pirates and we were having a bit of trouble mutiny-ing against the teachers, and we’d love if you could come and help.’Beatrice Delap, aged nine, a budding pirate.’

What do you think?

An onlooker said she heard the most ‘incredible screams of joy’ as the actor, in full make-up, then entered the school. In an interview on London Tonight after the visit, Beatrice…said that she was then asked by the star to make herself known from the assembled pupils once he arrived, and gave her a cuddle. Beatrice marvelled: ‘He gave me a hug and he said, “Maybe we shouldn’t mutiny today ‘cos there are police outside monitoring me.”‘

Seriously. The only way Johnny Depp could be more cool is if he owned Wayne Enterprises and walked around with a trident.