Brandon Davis Is Not Dead

Last week, there was a gas station explosion in Vegas, and the person killed was named Brandon Davis. No, not this Brandon Davis, but that’s what Perez and TMZ reported. According to the Long Island Press:

So: Brandon Davis, the 31-year-old grandson of Marvin Davis, heir to a boatload of money, former dater of Mischa Barton and the guy who deftly referred to Lindsay Lohan as a “firecrotch,” (can’t say the guy was wrong there) is not dead. Brandon Davis, the 26-year-old resident of Las Vegas who we really don’t know anything about, is dead. Both and Perez Hilton reported the Hollywood socialite Davis was the one killed in a gas station explosion in Vegas last week. This is one of those rare instances TMZ is wrong and one of those daily instances Perez Hilton is wrong.

Damn. I don’t know anything about the Brandon Davis that was killed, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say he was a more productive and useful member of society than the “Hollywood socialite”. He could have been a crack-smoking welfare recipient with a fondness for elder abuse and scalping kittens, but I’d still say he deserved it less than Greasy McFlopsweat up there. Stick him on the kitchen counter and he doubles as a Presto FryDaddy. Oh wait! I think we’ve found his purpose.