Elin Was Suicidal

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In designer glasses that Tiger Woods bought, Elin Nordegen has put on a “brave public face” but she is hiding a “shocking secret”. I wonder what it could be?!

National Enquirer

Sources close to TIGER WOODS’ ex-wife tell The ENQUIRER that Elin also suffered stress-induced vomiting after she ate, wept uncontrollably, and rarely slept – but intensive therapy and her love for her two young children saved her life…“Elin was devastated,” a source close to the blue-eyed blonde told The ENQUIRER. “She began staying home, seeing no one and weeping all the time. She had nannies take the children out so she could sit at home and cry,” the source revealed.

Maybe I’m an asshole, but it’s hard to sympathize with a woman who tried to do this after her husband had sex with whores. They say the world hates America, and I guess it’s because guys in Iran have to come up with elaborate schemes like falsely accusing their wives of adultery then having them stoned if the guy wants to marry somebody else. In America, a woman passes two humans through her vagina and gets $100M. I don’t know, that seems like a pretty good reason to strap a bomb to your chest. If I had half of the money Tiger had, I’d rather be filmed throwing a bucket of puppies into a river than get married.

Note: The banner pic of Denise Milani has nothing to do with this story other than the fact that her boobs are bigger than Tiger’s and Elin’s.