At Least Brittany Murphy’s Bed Didn’t Get Cold

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Be warned: this is the creepiest thing you will read all day. TMZ reports:

Brittany Murphy’s mother told investigators that she shared a bed with her daughter’s husband Simon Monjack after Brittany passed away … this according to sources close to the investigation. The L.A. Coroner’s Office just released their report on Simon Monjack’s death. In the report, the investigator documents an exchange with a person whose name has been withheld — but whom law enforcement sources have identified as Brittany’s mother, Sharon Murphy. According to the report, the investigator and the unnamed person (Sharon) were going through the master bedroom in the Hollywood Hills home that Simon shared with Brittany … when (Sharon) pointed to one side of Simon’s bed and identified it as “her side of the bed.”

I have no idea how he did this, but Simon Monjack took one of the most bubbly and cutest actresses in Hollywood and sucked every piece of hotness and money out of her. He then fucked her mom on her bed. Either he’s a psychic hypnotist with uncanny abilities over the human mind or his penis was cut off in a car accident and replaced with a donkey’s.