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Earlier today, TMZ reported actor Laurence Fishburne offered Vivid Entertainment $1M to buy every single copy of his daughter’s unreleased porn made to look like a sex tape in order to save his family from embarrassment. Man, I wonder where that money was when Phattys Rhymes & Dimes 14 came out. You know, his daughter’s FIRST porn. I appreciate Laurence finally realizing he has a kid and trying to do the right thing, but good luck trying to reel in somebody who said, “I am not in porn to get into acting. I am in porn because I wanted to be in porn.” Laurence Fishburne trying to make his daughter stop taking loads in the face on camera is like Jefrey Dahmer’s father trying to get him to audition a vegetarian cooking show. Something tells me things might not go as planned.
Arm yourself with the best jokes for your large foreheaded frenemies.
