Tom Hardy Is Gay

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Tom Hardy, the breakout star of Christopher Nolan’s brilliant Inception, has won the hearts and wet the panties of women around the world with his portrayal of Eames the forg…BOOM! Daily Mail reports:

But asked if he’d ever had any sexual relations with other men, the broody actor said: ‘As a boy? Of course I have. I’m an actor for fuck’s sake. ‘I’ve played with everything and everyone. I love the form and the physicality, but now that I’m in my thirties, it doesn’t do it for me. ‘I’m done experimenting but there’s plenty of stuff in a relationship with another man, especially gay men, that I need in my life. ‘A lot of gay men get my thing for shoes. I have definite feminine qualities and a lot of gay men are incredibly masculine.’ In an interview with Now magazine, the former party-boy who has battled drink, drugs and crime to turn his life around, added: ‘A lot of people say I seem masculine, but I don’t feel it. ‘I feel intrinsically feminine. I’d love to be one of the boys but I always felt a bit on the outside. ‘Maybe my masculine qualities come from overcompensating because I’m not one of the boys.’

I realize this guy is engaged to British actress Charlotte Riley and has a kid from another chick, but if you one day find a cock in your mouth, you’re gay. There’s no way around that. I know people will argue that he is evolved and doesn’t adhere to gender norms that forced him into a box of masculinity, but if you you’re man, and you have to wipe semen out of your eye, you’re a queer. This guy could chop down an entire forest with a blue ox and beat up Bigfoot in a cage match, and his obituary would still include the words “used to jack off dudes”