Bret Michaels Is Replacing Simon Cowell

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I guess being in a shitty band and having brain damage are pretty good qualities in a American Idol judge. Contacting Music reports:

The ailing rocker, who is still recovering from a near-fatal brain haemorrhage and a recent stroke, was an instant hit with fans, who gave him a standing ovation as he walked out to sing a rendition of Poison’s Every Rose Has Its Thorn. And Cowell was left so impressed he’s considering handing him his judging seat now that the Brit has quit the show after nine years on the panel. He says, “Actually, he’d be good. He’s funny. He’s got experience. He’d be a good choice – and you saw the audience reaction to him. They love him.”

And Michaels is hopeful he will be handed the job: “I’m sorry he (Cowell) has to go but sometimes things happen. Provided my health holds up, I think I’m taking that chair next year!”

I don’t know how being an expert in bandanas and the proper way to sanitize stripper poles has to do with karaoke, but hey, I wish him luck. He got the pity vote on Celebrity Apprentice, now he’s set to replace the best judge of talent on television. Almost dying is the best thing that ever to a person since Jesus. Maybe if he shoots himself in the face he can get a Grammy. Go for it, Bret!