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Look, I like magic carpets and Dell tech support as much as the next guy, but let’s not pretend Miss Oklahoma Morgan Elizabeth Woolard isn’t a billion times hotter than Slumdog Thousandaire, Rima Fakih. There’s a reason Asian chicks get blonde hair. There’s reason Princess Jasmine waxes her arms. And that reason is blondes are hot and always will be. I’m not saying Rima Fakih is unattractive, and although that’s not true, but if I’m going to plant an American flag in Miss USA’s ass, I want to make sure I don’t have to press 1 for English before I do.

Note: If you want to see 74 more reasons why Miss Oklahoma was the rightful winner, go over to the kick ass COED Magazine. You’ll be glad you did.