Hos You Can Believe In

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The National Enquirer broke the John Edwards’ scandal, the Tiger Woods’ ho train, and Bristol Palin’s pregnancy, now they claim they have evidence that Barack Obama was caught in a D.C. hotel room with Vera Baker (this chick), a former campaign aide. I take it this was before Michelle Obama got a makeover. Or after. It’s really hard to tell at what point she was supposed to be “attractive”.

Reports out of Washington, DC: PRESIDENT OBAMA in a shocking cheating scandal after being caught in a Washington, DC Hotel with a former campaign aide. A confidential investigation has learned that Obama first became close to gorgeous 35 year-old VERA BAKER in 2004 when she worked tirelessly to get him elected to the US Senate, raising millions in campaign contributions. While Baker has insisted in the past that “nothing happened” between them, reports reveal that top anti-Obama operatives are offering more than $1 million to witnesses to reveal what they know about the alleged hush-hush affair. Among those being offered money is a limo driver who says in 2004 that he took Vera to a secret hotel rendezvous in where Obama was staying. An ENQUIRER reporter has confirmed the limo driver’s account of the secret 2004 rendezvous.

Whatever. Michelle Obama looks like the dad on Good Times, so of course he needed to bang something else. But it looks like that something else couldn’t even get a call back to play a Klingon. Maybe Obama should appoint a czar to point out hot pieces of ass when they walk by, because obviously Obama didn’t learn that at Harvard.