Kate Gosselin Wants To Bang The Fly, Knight Rider

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Pretty please, with sugar on top. Somebody shoot this woman. Popeater reports:

Kate Gosselin is ready to start dating again, but this time she is only interested in dating Hollywood celebrities. She already has her eye on one in particular, Mr. Jeff Goldblum. “Kate is serious about going Hollywood and thinks dating a celebrity is a great idea,” Kate’s pal tells me. “When Kate sees how Tom Cruise changed Katie Holmes life, it became clear that she needed to do the same. Obviously, she knows she’s not yet ready to date a George Clonney, but she thinks she would be the perfect partner for a Jeff Goldblum or someone like David Hasselhoff.”

Just the simple fact that this idiot has made a list like she’s buying groceries and thinks “she’s not ready to date a George Clooney” is all the proof you need that this evil bitch lives on the corner of Delusion and Bitch What The Fuck. In case you were wondering, George Clooney is currently banging THIS. To reiterate, George Clooney sticks his penis in THIS. Her name is Elisabetta Canalis, and THIS is what she looks like. The only way George Clooney would want to talk to Kate Gosselin is if he somehow managed to get leprosy and paralyzed on the same day and he happened to be in front of her house at the time.