Happy Easter Everybody!

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I know it’s technically Good Friday, but whatever. While you’re celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus by waiting for a giant bunny rabbit to bring you chocolate eggs, or if you’re celebrating that time God sent angels to slaughter every one of Egypt’s firstborn, but your family got the hookup with the lamb’s blood, I hope you’re doing it safe except really, really drunk. And when you feel like a cat hasn’t just shit your mouth, try do the right thing once in your fucking life and donate some money to a worthy charity. I know it may be hard to do because you might have to start selling meth soon to pay for your medical insurance premiums, but it will make you feel better. But don’t donate to Haiti, though. What, do they want us to do everything for them, is that it? Cavemen had earthquakes and dinosaurs and they didn’t have a telethon. God, Haitians! It’s always take, take, take with you people!