Only A Stake Through The Heart Works

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There was a rumor started yesterday, apparently for a queer’s April Fools joke, that Sarah Jessica Parker and her 7-year old son died in a car accident. They didn’t. Feel free to be happy or disappointed.

So don’t believe the hype. The Sarah Jessica Parker dead news is false. If it were true, you’d see reports that Sarah Jessica Parker died broadcast on your news everywhere. Rest assured Miss Parker is still alive and will be appearing in the upcoming Sex and the City movie sequel which arrives May 28th, 2010 to theaters everywhere.

I’m not sure if the bolded part of this quote is to make me feel better or is some kind of threat, but as it clearly says, Sarah Jessica Parker is still alive. And according that banner, it’s obvious the virgin blood she drinks and the little kids she cooks in her cauldron are her source of strength. So if you ever hit this hag with your car, immediately place a cross on her chest. You might want to throw in a garlic necklace just in case. You can never be too sure with lapdogs of Satan.