Jesse James Hit This, Too

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It think it should be obvious at this point that Jesse James’ would stick his penis in a beehive if it had tattoos and ridiculously oversized implants. TMZ reports:

Brigitte Daguerre — a Los Angeles photographer — claims Jesse hired her in 2008 to do styling work for a West Coast Choppers photo shoot. She says the two emailed and texted each other for a year, but claims they only had sex four times before she cut it off. Daguerre has 195 text messages between her and Jesse (the cell phone numbers sync up) … many of them extremely graphic. Among the milder, Jesse says, “I’ll be your monkey.” Throughout the exchanges, Jesse repeatedly asks Daguerre to send pictures and set up rendezvous. In one exchange, Daguerre complained that Jesse wasn’t letting loose. He explains, “I’m texting you in secret.”

I’m sick right now, but there isn’t enough NyQuil gelcaps in the world to make me text a girl “I’ll be your monkey”. What the hell does that even mean? Did he want to bite her then throw shit at her? Did he want her to become a quadriplegic so he could help her then develop feelings of rage against his new master? I find that “I want to stick it in your ass” is much more effective.