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Johnny Depp is widely considered to be one of the most handsome actors working in Hollywood, and combined with his overwhelming generosity and anti-Hollywood humanity, Depp could be wrist deep in a sorority every night if he wanted to be. I only mention this because his wife, Vanessa Paradis, is on the cover of Elle. And I only mention that because in real life, she looks like THIS. And THIS. All I’m saying is that her vagina must flow with milk and honey or shoot out lottery tickets with the winning numbers already scratched off, because I assume, for Johnny’s sake, that she only goes down on something when she’s trying to build a dam.
Arm yourself with the best jokes for your large foreheaded frenemies.
