Just Come Out Already

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I’m not sure how all the homosexuals are gonna feel about bored wives and tween cutters buying up all the copies of Details this month, but they should have thought of that before they put Rob Pattinson on their 10th anniversary edition. And since Details is for gays, and Robert Pattinson is a closted gay, you’ll never guess how gay his interview was. Here’s a hint: He likes cock. He says:

I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina. But I can’t say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. But I wasn’t exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to these girls. Thank God I was hungover.”

Wow, sitting for six hours around a bunch of naked women must have made you run out Purell and anti-septic wipes, you big fag. Maybe for your next photoshoot, you can come out in cut off jean shorts and roller skates while brushing your Barbie’s hair. You know, to fully drive the point home you’d rather go down on a hedge trimmer than see a vagina.