John Mayer Is Sorry, Scared

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The entire John Mayer interview was posted on Playboy yesterday, and if you thought he only plowing Jessica Simpson, you are wrong. So very wrong.

MAYER: My two biggest hits are ‘Your Body Is a Wonderland’ and ‘Daughters.’ If you think those songs are pandering, then you’ll think I’m a douche bag. It’s like I come on very strong. I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.

PLAYBOY: Because you’re very?

MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, ‘What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?’ And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass.

Yesterday on his official Twitter, he must have heard Alpine’s blast and hydraulics outside his window, because he apologized. A lot.

Re: using the ‘N word’ in an interview: I am sorry that I used the word. And it’s such a shame that I did because the point I was trying to make was in the exact opposite spirit of the word itself….It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualize using it, because I realize that there’s no intellectualizing a word that is so emotionally charged…I think it’s time to stop trying to be so raw in’s gotten out of hand and I’ve created somewhat of a monster. I wanted to be a blues guitar player. And a singer. And a songwriter. Not a shock jock. I don’t have the stomach for it. Again, because I don’t want anyone to think I’m equivocating: I should have never said the word and I will never say it again.

Just to be clear, the only black people John Mayer hangs out with would only go back to the hood if their Gulfstream happened to crash there, so I’m not really sure how he thought he had a “hood pass”. I do. If Mayer wants to hang with me, come on. Let’s take a trip up Holloway. So you can see how many niggas in my hood is down to die today. We standin up for our own shit. And if you outside the click, then you die, bitch. Well, at least until my Playsation 3 controller recharges.