This Was About Right

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In his quest to become a white woman and have sex with as many little boys as he could, Michael Jackson went through great pains to look human. Sorta like Darkman and that dude in the attic in Hellraiser. Star says:

The autopsy shows Michael did suffer from vitiligo, a skin pigment disorder, and that he weighed 136 lbs. at the time of his death. MJ’s hair was “was sparse” and connected to a wig. The front part of his head had a “dark skin discoloration resembling a tattoo” to cover a receeding hairline. His natural hair along the temporal regions was short and curly, while his wig was long and straight. The 50-year-old star also had his eyeliner, lips and eyebrows permanently tattooed. A bandage covered the tip of Michael’s nose.

Nope, you’re wrong. It gets way fucking weirder. TMZ reports:

Among the items found in the bedroom where Dr. Conrad Murray was treating Michael Jackson — “a closed bottle of urine atop a chair.” Back in November, we posted a story about Dr. Arnold Klein, who told us that Michael Jackson had a habit of peeing in cups and other objects, often in front of others. Dr. Klein told TMZ today Jackson would pee in any object that was available and it all stemmed from necessity. “That’s how he peed,” Klein said. Klein told us when Jackson was 5 years old and on stage, there were often no bathrooms in the immediate vicinity and as a result he would pee in bottles.

Wow, what a sexy life Michael Jackson had! A drug-addicted child rapist who looked like Mr. Potato Head and liked to piss in your empty energy drink. Man, if I was a 12-year old boy with lukemia, I would be so down with that, too!