Brittany Murphy’s Death Was Shocking! Not Really

[SinglePic not found]

I got a lot of emails yesterday asking why didn’t post the results of Brittany Murphy’s toxicology report. Well, mostly because I already called it. But in case you’re wondering, you’ll never guess how she died!! OMG, it’s so shocking!! TMZ reports:

Brittany Murphy’s cause of death has been determined: An accidental death caused by “community acquired pneumonia,” iron deficiency anemia, and multiple drug intoxication.

In other shocking news, Brittany’s death could have been prevented if, you know, she didn’t take drugs.

Sources say the primary causes of Murphy’s death were pneumonia and severe anemia. L.A. County Coroner officials believe Brittany’s condition was “treatable” but no one took her to the hospital in time. As for the multiple drugs found in her system, we’re told they were both prescription, including medicine for cramps, and over-the-counter medications, including cough syrup. Our sources say the drugs “pushed her over the line” but the underlying problems were the pneumonia and anemia. In other words, Brittany was really sick, didn’t get treatment and by self-medicating it pushed her over the line.

Of course, Simon Monjack is skeptical because he thought an actress with a mountain of prescription drugs lying around the house died of a broken heart.

Simon said he is “ridiculously upset” by the findings and claimed his wife was “not that ill”. Simon said: “Everything surprised me and Brittany’s mom about the report. “I expected the cause of death to be her heart.” “She wasn’t coughing up. I’ve had pneumonia and coughed up handfuls of spittle. So yeah, everything surprised us, everything.”

So to recap, a 32-year old, 100 pound white chick died of cardiac arrest because she happened to get pneumonia when she was this loser’s prescription drug mule. Not to sound all scientific, but I had pneumonia last year and the only drugs in my system were antibiotics. I know it’s hard to believe I’m typing this now. How did I ever live to tell the tale?!