Robert Pattinson Has A Tough Decision

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When tween cutters and thirty-year old women (I’m looking at you Gina) have to blow dry their panties when somebody says your name, it must be hard when you’re an obviously closeted gay actor. It’s manageable and you can keep fooling people (Tom Cruise has Katie Holmes, Matthew Broderick has Flicka, Will Smith has Jada Pinkett Smith), but Robert Pattinson isn’t even trying. National Enquirer reports:

“I am single … almost everything that came out about my private life IS false,” cover boy Pattinson told the Italian edition of Vanity Fair mag. “I think it happens because, really, there is not much to say about what I’m doing. “While I am filming, I live practically recluse in hotel. I come out only to work, and sometimes to go out for dinner. “But, if you read the magazines, it seems that I have a frantic high life.”

Remember when you were a kid and you watched He-Man and you wanted to be him because he was all powerful and brave and cool then you got older and realized he wore a pink shirt, kept a secret identity from his parents, had a pet cat, and his best friend was a girl? Yeah, this is kinda like that.